(no subject)

Yesterday the secondary school in Kyiv I used to attend between 8 and 13 yo was damaged by Russian bombing.
The explosions were quite close to our house where my parents and my brother still live.

They launched a massive attack with drones and ballistics on Saturday night, between 1 and 6 AM.

And this weekend is a great celebration in Kyiv, The City's Day. That's how they congratulated us.

(no subject)

All the past week I'm having sad thoughts about the people who left my life. Not those who left by circumstances but by their own will.

I do not know if I'm so strange a person, but 'me and the people' situation is rather similar to 'me and books' (or 'me and films' for that matter).

I read a lot, I'm trying to understand some works even if I disagree or I don't like the style. When I read, I have a purpose, I can't force myself reading something just because 'it's a popular book', I need to form a question in my head, need to know what I'm expecting to find out by this reading. Sometimes I'm just curious but it's genuine curiosity and not following someone's opinion.

But with some books, I just forget and never return to them, never re-read.
With my favourite books or films it's different, I'm returning to re-watch and re-read cyclically years after years, always finding something new, something I didn't notice or didn't know how to interpret.

And the books and movies do not change. People do, if only a little.

Not all but some people who fascinated me when I was 16 are fascinating still. I'm returning to them again and again even after long pause in communication, online or offline, asking questions, discussing matters of life, choice, meaning of all we do.

I'm lucky enough to have very old friends with whom I still can talk about deep things.

But I'm feeling really sad about some whom I considered very close and cherished, with whom I could talk endlessly, to whom I trusted my inner thoughts and hidden details of my life.
Some people who one day just left as if there was no contact and no deep understanding between us, and closed the door.

And when I think about our communication, I wonder why they seem to loose interest in me as a person, almost never asking me questions, almost never trying to find out something that could be interesting or useful for them.

And it's not like they made their conclusion very fast. I need several months to about a year to understand if I will be communicating with that person or not. Then I leave and close the door, because I see that there is no contact and not a fraction of mutual understanding.

But those people were leaving forever after years of very close communication. If it wasn't so close for them, the question is - why they tolerated it so long? Why they wasted their time'?
And, most importantly, why they didn't try to find out something, why they were trying to stay on the surface? What's the point of communication if it's empty and repetitive?